• shahaditi729

Dents and Scratches

It’s been a day since I heard you laugh

And it is already January inside of me

I am frozen, unmoving.

Numb.

It is March inside of me

I grow on colours

The pinks of tulips and yellows of sunflowers

But beneath,

I am confounded as the seasons

Seeking solace in neither Winter nor Summer.

It’s been months since I heard your laugh

And I have burrowed it

Deep in the pockets of my mind

Where I cannot find it.

For it may fall out,

Seep through my slippery fingers.

Right now, it still lingers

My heart floats at the thought of your name

But I dare not say it anymore.

It is July inside of me

Each day is dreary

Every emotion, a drudge.

Thoughts of you induce an incessantly pouring rain

That falls on my heart

Engulfs it

Destroys it.

Your smile is fading

Slipping away like the rainwater in my hands

And I’m begging

Begging my heart

For more.

It is October inside of me

I forget your ringing laugh

And your ruby lips

My hungry heart searches my mind

for glimpses of you to devour

It is sultry and oppressive.

I remember you caressing my face

Saying

Beautiful things have dents and scratches too

But darling,

You were perfect.

One rotten apple spoils the other

Now, I am. And you are not,

And your memories have drowned themselves

in my dents and scratches.

I tried to stop them

But they seeped like rainwater in dry mud.

So, come back,

Before I do something terrifying

Like saying your name

For it has been far too long,

And it will be

Cacophonic as a gong in the silence

Ethereal as a lone star in the sky

An abomination.

But those scratches darling,

Those scratches and dents.

Did I scar myself?

Did I turn my body into a grave

For your memories?

Or did you?

Guess it’s too late to know.

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